she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
