They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
