Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
