from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
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My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
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I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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