break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
