I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka?
Forever.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize