I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
