I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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