you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
