dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
