I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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