what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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