Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
40s are totally the cure
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Randomize
