I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
