Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
wat bout pragnant strippers??
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
