Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
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You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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