This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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