you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
