I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
