I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
