I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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