Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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