South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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