yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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