Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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