she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
FUCK WHALES
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
