They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
