if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
