i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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