She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
