I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
