i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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