i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Holy shit dude........stairs
what the fuck happened to the tacos
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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