I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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