he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
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