Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
