I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
