I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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