Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
