I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
