the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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