8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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