So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
