if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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