I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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