when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
