I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
