Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
