it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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