So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
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so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
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Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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