You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
