Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
