Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize