if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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