I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize