i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
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I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
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