is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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