last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
