I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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