We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
wanna go halves on a baby?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
