Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
