During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
