Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
