I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
