look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
