stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
