Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
