hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
