I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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