Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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