whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
