I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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